Monday, October 27, 2008

Should you tell your kids the things YOU did as a child?

I don't know about you ladies... but I was not a Christian until I was 25, and boy do I have some stories I could tell! Eek. I'm not saying I was the ultimate rebel or anything... I was actually pretty "good" but I sure did have my moments. :o

I was just thinking that my boys are young now, so it's not much of an issue, but soon enough we will come to that "fork" in the road.... the decision to tell, or not tell what I was REALLY like when I was their age.

And as much as I don't want to... as much as I want them to look up to me as the perfect mom and role model... I'm going to share my secrets. This is why:

My kids are going to struggle. I had my first round of major depression when I was 14... and that sent me into a lot of messes. I had my first boyfriend at 15, my first drink at 19 (no it wasn't better to wait), and my second round of depression in university. I'll let your imaginations take over from here (sorry no gossip on this site! :)). Some of the things I have done have filled me with shame, and still do when I think of them. But they are blessings to me now because I can be open with my sons, inviting them to feel safe being open with me.

I have two young teenage friends right now... beautiful young women whom I truly cherish. We became close when I shared my testimony. Not the good parts... the ugly parts. And it drew these ladies to me because they have similar struggles and they feel safe and accepted with me. And they are. And my sons will be too. If they are going through a difficulty, a period of doubt, some sin that they are caught in, I WANT them to come to me or their dad to talk, and ultimately to their heavenly Father.

Maybe this decision seems like it might be easier for me than for someone who has been a christian for longer. Perhaps you think I can blame my sins on my "pre-Jesus darkness". If only this were true. I had my third and fourth rounds of depression very recently, and I will admit, I still struggle. And most surprising to me are the worldly sins and temptations that have floated my way. I want to tell you that I've handled them perfectly (I can't. Sigh.) - but I CAN tell you that my GOD is faithful.

And He can be faithful to my babies too... my bible babies, whom I soooo desire to see become strong men of God, who know where to turn with their sin, not denying that they are sinful but nailing those sins to the cross and marching forward in His strength.

God bless you friends!


Tammie said...

oh, Rachel. sin hurts. even though i have been a Christian for 40 years, i would not keep my failings from my child. it is a good way to teach how wrong something is, how much it hurts and damages, what a broken and contrite heart looks like, and how God gives help and deliverance and hope and joy.

the Spirit of God tells us through James that confessing sin to one another is a part of receiving healing. my daughter is usually one of the first to know when i recognize a failure in my life. God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.

God bless you, dear friend.

Christina said...

I love how God specialized in making the broken, whole; the ugly beautiful; the sinful, clothed in His righteousness. I agree with you that I want to share how He did those things in my life with my child(ren). And, of course, that includes sharing the broken, ugly, and sinful parts of our lives, which makes the whole, beautiful, and righteous change all the more dazzling!

Maggie said...


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